EXTRA, EXTRA! "The GOP has lowered the Barr with a DeLay of Congress, using an Armey of Newts to Hatch a Lott of Starr witnesses, in order to Tripp up a Bill and cover their Hydes." JEROLD DRUCKER, LAT, 10/14

SATURDAY SPECIAL: THE UT/OU BET IN ELECTION YEAR TURNS BIG MEN INTO WIMPS.Last year, Oklahoma Guv Frank Keating lost as the Horns beat up on the Sooners and paid up: 600 pounds of beef! The year before OU won and our George provided barbecue for 5,000! This year, the suddenly frugal Frank bet a t-shirt and our equally temperate Texan countered with a dinner for four.10/10

EXTRA, EXTRA! "Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25." - Mary Ann Tebedo (Republican member of the Colorado State Senate), remark on the Senate floor during the 1995 session quoted in the Denver Post, May 14, 1995. 10/9

EXTRA, EXTRA! The "Washington Post" writes that an anti-drug pamphlet with an intro by Sen. Orrin Hatch reports that a warning sign that your child is doing drugs is an "excessive preoccupation with social causes, racial relations, environmental issues, etc." 10/7