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ONION REMAINS ON VACATION
Internet comedy parodists are meeting in Kuala Lumpur this week to discuss where to obtain fresh material while ONION is on a one month vacation. Should ONION be on vacation? What do you think?
"I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want ONION back. Have you seen that shit? It's nasty."Benjamin Clark, Architect
"Finally, I'll be able to be at peace with my loved ones, now that family life has been returned to me."Carol Ryberhuse, Nurse
"Know who else is apparently on vacation? My waitress. I ordered those goddamn wings almost 15 minutes ago."Don Roberts, Stock Analyst
"Did someone check the bathroom for those ONION writers? Because my grandpa is a Korean War vet, and that's where we always find him."Terry Jenner, Law Professor
"How can we worry about ONION when there are still important manuscripts missing from the Punic Wars?"Fran Davis, Baker
"We must get those ONION writers back alive from vacation. Failing that, we must get back their remains. Failing that, we must get back their droppings."Obfell Donker, Electrical Engineer
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